What’s this about no sex before marriage?

(Mormon Chastity)

Mormons believe that it is important to be clean physically and mentally.  Part of this cleanliness is the Law of Chastity.  In today’s world, teaching absolute abstinence before marriage and fidelity in marriage is considered by many to be out of date or unrealistic.  However, Mormons believe that this is God’s standard and that it will never change. 

The Law of chastity is really very simple and straightforward, though people are always trying to find loopholes and excuses.  Jesus put it very simply in his Sermon on the Mount when He said, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matt 5:28).  We must strive to avoid lust and becoming preoccupied with sex.  Within marriage, sexual relations are good and proper, but because sexuality is such a powerful and important force in our lives it can be a dangerous thing to trifle with.  Sexuality is such an important thing because it is through this method that God provides bodies for His children here on earth.  In 1995, Gordon B. Hinckley, president and prophet of the Church issued a proclamation called “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”  It says,

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

The Proclamation says further that, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”  Only by obedience to the law of chastity can children be raised in stable homes.  Many problems in our society such as the raise in crime, high drop out rates in school, the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and other ills would drop significantly if there were more stable families who honored the laws of chastity and fidelity in marriage.  Not every problem would be solved, but many would.  Imagine the problems that would be averted if more people could grow up in happy, stable homes where parents loved and respected one another and were faithful to one another.  This does not mean that single parents are bad - most of them work very hard, but it is difficult to work full time and raise a family without help. 

Obeying the law of chastity means maintaining total sexual abstinence before marriage and being completely faithful within marriage.  It means shunning pornography and other movies, TV shows, books, magazines, and music which trivializes sexuality and encourages illicit sexual behavior.  It means avoiding being overly preoccupied by sexual thoughts and controlling one’s sexual desires.  Part of controlling one’s sexual desires means staying away from heaving petting, making out, touching the sexual organs of another, and avoiding masturbation.  Also, since God has commanded that marriage be between man and woman as part of His plan to create bodies for His children here on earth, homosexuality is likewise forbidden.  While many people may find this law overly strict, it is in fact liberating.  By controlling one’s sexual appetites and setting boundaries, a person can be free to enjoy the company of others without sexual tension and with the worries and fears about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and the shame that can sometimes accompany illicit sexual behavior. 

It is important to note, however, that those who have been the victims of a sexual assault such as rape or molestation have not committed anything wrong, but are victims who need the love and support of their family and friends.  They should not feel guilty about what happened, because they have done nothing wrong.  Like any victim, they should be helped and strengthened.  It is the perpetrator of the rape or the molestation who is guilty. 

Several years ago the Mormon Church published a pamphlet called “For the Strength of Youth” which contains excellent articles and insights about modesty, sexual purity, and dating.