Changing Hearts and Habits
Repentance is one of the greatest gifts that God has given to mankind. Through the repentance process, hearts can be made whole, relationships can be healed, and you find peace for your heart and soul. True repentance brings peace, joy, and the knowledge that you are approved of God. Sometimes, repentance is easy, but sometimes it can be a great struggle. What matters is the sincerity of your heart and you willingness to put right what went wrong and to change.
We repent as we grow in faith. The more we learn about God, the more we will want to improve our lives. The Apostle Paul said:
Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. (2 Corinthians 7:9-11)
Paul mentions “godly sorrow” which brings us to repentance. This can come as learn that certain things in our life are out of harmony with God’s will and commandments. The Spirit of God will rest upon you and help you realize what things you need to change, but unless you begin to change, the Spirit will eventually withdraw.
Godly sorrow means that we know we have done wrong. Perhaps we lied to a loved one, or stole something from a store. Perhaps we have committed sexual sins like sex before marriage. Whatever it is, godly sorrow will bring us to change our thoughts and habits. Note that Paul says how godly sorrow brings carefulness, clearing of ourselves, desire, zeal, and so forth. This means we must stop doing whatever sin we have been committing. We must, if possible, fix the wrong we have done. If we stole, we should return what we stole; if we lied, we should apologize and tell the truth. Sometimes we cannot easily make up for actions. In those circumstances we should do all we can. We should apologize to whomever might have been hurt, and commit not to do it again. We should also ask forgiveness of whomever we have hurt. Finally, we must pray to God and ask Him to forgive us. The basic steps of repentance can be summarized as follows:
- Recognition: First we must recognize that we have done something wrong
- Godly Sorrow: We must feel sorrow that our actions have hurt others and offended God
- Confession: We must confess our sins to God, to those we have offended, and to our Bishop if it is very serious
- Restitution: We must try to make up for what we have done
- Seek forgiveness: We must ask forgiveness of those we have hurt or offended and from God
- Renounce: We must never do it again.
The Doctrine and Covenants, which contains revelations to modern day prophets, teaches us that, “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43). This is one of the most important steps, for if we continue to commit the sin, then we have not really repented. Through repentance, we come to know our weaknesses and our strengths. For most people this is a very difficult process of self-discovery and finding faith in God. We must trust that as we do our best, God’s grace will make up for our weakness. In the Book of Mormon, one prophet prayed about his own weaknesses and received these words from God:
If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them (Ether 12:27).
By coming unto Jesus Christ and putting our faith in Him by trusting Him and fulfilling His commandments, our weaknesses will be made strong by His grace and we will be forgiven of all sins we have committed.
Repentance brings great joy into our lives and permits us to walk with our heads held high rejoicing in the mercy God has shown us. True repentance will fill our soul with compassion and love for others and a desire to help them, just as we have been helped by God.
Sometimes, though, we struggle with certain addictions or destructive habits that are difficult if not impossible to overcome on our own. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be pure and clean, but he also knows that we are sometimes weak. Things like drug addiction, alcoholism, sex or pornography addiction, same-sex attraction, dependency on coffee, tea, or cigarettes are all harmful not only to our bodies, but also to our spirits because they block the Spirit of God and numb our feelings. The following list includes some organization and methods for helping to overcome this addictions and temptations. Remember, you should not feel guilty for being tempted for everyone is tempted by something. What matters is how you act. God knows your heart and your desires and hopes the best for you. Jesus Christ suffered all things that he might know how to succor and help those who are tempted, for Jesus too was tempted, but because he was the Son of God, he never gave in to temptation and sinned. Remember that your closest and best friend in these trials is Jesus Christ, but you can also seek help from counselors, church leaders, friends, and family members.
Organization and Sites with help in overcoming some destructive habits and sins:
Official Mormon Church sites:
Provident Living: guides on budgeting, physical health, job training, etc.
LDS Family Services: A Mormon Church-run social service with counseling, adoption, and addiction recovery resources.
LDS Addiction Recovery Program, The Mormon Church runs this addiction recovery program which covers everything from alcohol, pornography, to gambling.
Tobacco:
How to Quit Smoking, from the Center for Disease Control
Smoke Free, from the U.S. Government
Nicotine Anonymous, a 12 Step program for overcome nicotine addiction
Alcohol:
Alcoholics Anonymous, the website for the oldest 12 step program.
The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism; links to agencies and programs that can help with Alcoholism.
Pornography/Sex Addiction/Homosexual Attraction:
Evergreen International, a Mormon-themed organization for overcoming same-sex attraction
Latter-day Sexual Recovery, a Mormon-themed site devoted to helping with all kinds of sexual addictions from a Mormon perspective
Life STAR Network, a site for helping with sexual addiction and pornography addiction
Latter-day Saint Support Center, for all sexual addictions, pornography addictions, and unwanted same-sex attraction.
Exodus International, a Christian-based organization for helping persons overcome unwanted homosexual attractions.
No-Porn, a site that has been helping with pornography addiction since 1997
Drugs:
Narcotics Anonymous, a 12 step program for drug addiction, both illegal and prescription
Sober Recovery, a resource guide to various treatment facilities.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Gambling:
Gamblers Anonymous, a 12 step program for overcoming gambling addiction
Intervention Center, a resource for overcoming computer addictions, gambling, and other destructive addictions
Coffee/Tea:
Teeccino, selling a substitute for coffee
How to Quit Caffeine, from Wikihow
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